7 Reasons Never to Read Another Listicle

Oh No! Not another listicle?

Have you ever wondered why there are all those articles with a numbered list of the “best 11 widgets for doing whatever” or “23 reasons you should never filling-in-the-blank”?  It seems they are everywhere these days, especially at the end of the year when apparently we need to make a list of everything that happened or didn’t happen over the past year.There can only be one reason these lame “listicles” keep showing up: people can’t keep themselves from reading them. Since eyeballs=$ that’s apparently all that matters. Well you’ll be relieved to know that you don’t have to read these listicles anymore and here are the reasons why.

  1. They never provide important information. Have you ever read a listicle and thought to yourself “We’ll it’s a good thing I read that! That’s very important to know.”? Somehow I doubt it.
  2. They’re always disappointing. The headlines always sound so exciting and full of promise but when you read the list it doesn’t live up to its billing. “Wait a minute, I thought I’d know how to turn my life around by the end of this list.”
  3. You’ve got better things to do. Come on! You must have better things to do than read a listicle. Imagine how the author feels writing it!
  4. You already knew this stuff anyway. If this was really new information do you think it would be written up as a listicle? When was the last time the lead article in the New York Times was a listicle?
  5. About half way through the list it’s clear the author has run out of ideas and is scraping the bottom of the barrel. A little bit like this list, you realize about half way through you really don’t need to read any further.
  6. But you keep reading anyway!  Maybe it’s because of the easy-to-skim formatting with the bold text and
  7. Because the last item is always the best.  At least that’s what you’re hoping.  “Oh no. I’ve been sucked into reading all the way through another one of these worthless listicles?” Well I’m afraid so, but hopefully this will be the last one. If you’re as sick of listicles as I am please share this with your friends and make sure this is the last listicle they read too. And while you’re here please check out all my beautiful handmade Shaker and Mission style furniture.  I promise you won’t feel like you’re wasting your time. (I told you the last item on the list was the best.)

 

Bissellwoodworking,com - Shaker furniture

Bissellwoodworking.com
Shaker, Mission & Custom furniture handmade in Putney, Vermont

 

 

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